How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
