so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
