so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
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