I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
