Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
