my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
