Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
