these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
