I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
