i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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