Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
