You work out of a Hotel?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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