Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
