I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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