ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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