Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
