saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
