He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
