Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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