just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
