just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
