Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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