where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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