Sry I called you an 8
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
