well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
