So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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