none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
