I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize