I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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