Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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