Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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