Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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