fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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