no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's always time for handjobs
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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