sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
