She's JV to your varsity
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this beer tastes like vomit already
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
