Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
