the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
