so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize