i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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