I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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