Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
