I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
