"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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