don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
