Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
