i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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