Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
