I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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