break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
