It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
