I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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