Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize