Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
