quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
