they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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